I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
