I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
