Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Randomize
Follow @tfln