Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Im at strip club and am horny

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  (313): Im at strip club and am horny http://tfl.nu/rj7w
  Replies (8) Good night (1455) Bad night (2145)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together

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  (651): Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together http://tfl.nu/hjtb
  Replies (16) Good night (821) Bad night (3686)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.

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  (613): One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious. http://tfl.nu/t95v
  Replies (31) Good night (2559) Bad night (1854)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  "Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...

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  (703): "Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level... http://tfl.nu/h78w
  Replies (23) Good night (4232) Bad night (1412)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.

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  (803): Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing. http://tfl.nu/46mh
  Replies (6) Good night (875) Bad night (3005)
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  (714): View more from California

  there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.

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  (714): there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe. http://tfl.nu/faaw
  Replies (10) Good night (2566) Bad night (1138)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.

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  (423): I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats. http://tfl.nu/9par
  Replies (6) Good night (2048) Bad night (2665)
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  (925): View more from California

  Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.

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  (925): Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager. http://tfl.nu/yj7y
  Replies (8) Good night (2535) Bad night (1103)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.

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  (860): Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am. http://tfl.nu/9zeo
  Replies (6) Good night (1827) Bad night (796)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF

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  (260): He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF http://tfl.nu/3qis
  Replies (5) Good night (1926) Bad night (731)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.

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  (303): I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls. http://tfl.nu/h774
  Replies (2) Good night (1424) Bad night (591)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?

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  (248): Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand? http://tfl.nu/liba
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY

  (618): View more from Illinois

  CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  The D is nonnegotable.

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  (952): FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY (618): CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3? (952): The D is nonnegotable. http://tfl.nu/i957
  Replies (4) Good night (1039) Bad night (365)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome

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  (713): I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome http://tfl.nu/qeoi
  Replies (7) Good night (1322) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.

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  (508): Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry. http://tfl.nu/belr
  Replies (1) Good night (709) Bad night (304)

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