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• (734): View more from Michigan

  wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton

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• (817): View more from Texas

  The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once

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• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.

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• (646): View more from New York

  He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her

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• (214): View more from Texas

  How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.

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• 

  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...

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• (813): View more from Florida

  As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.

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