remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner