Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again

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(810): I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again http://tfl.nu/f45r

Replies (1) Good night (1499) Bad night (450)
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(904): View more from Florida

When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"

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(904): When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit" http://tfl.nu/bodh

Replies (71) Good night (16568) Bad night (1033)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.

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(414): My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with. http://tfl.nu/07fq

Replies (158) Good night (2559) Bad night (12522)
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(703): View more from Virginia

The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.

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(703): The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up. http://tfl.nu/ttp7

Replies (14) Good night (5595) Bad night (1680)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.

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(828): That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy. http://tfl.nu/c9sd

Replies (18) Good night (4650) Bad night (1130)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off

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(862): dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off http://tfl.nu/s9m5

Replies (4) Good night (2594) Bad night (1077)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.

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(503): Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out. http://tfl.nu/zwrd

Replies (9) Good night (3671) Bad night (787)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite

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(250): I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite http://tfl.nu/yccl

Replies (4) Good night (1137) Bad night (1197)
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(512): View more from Texas

Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.

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(512): Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today. http://tfl.nu/tybk

Replies (10) Good night (1466) Bad night (1938)
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(310): View more from California

It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots

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(310): It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots http://tfl.nu/44j2

Replies (4) Good night (634) Bad night (1560)
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(509): View more from Washington

no you're not allowed back

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night

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(509): no you're not allowed back (412): come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night http://tfl.nu/ng3d

Replies (4) Good night (1557) Bad night (534)
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(831): View more from California

I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.

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(831): I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT. http://tfl.nu/8xfg

Replies (8) Good night (2132) Bad night (499)
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(334): View more from Alabama

My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?

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(334): My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace? http://tfl.nu/t8sy

Replies (13) Good night (2445) Bad night (395)
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(518): View more from New York

Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.

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(518): Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered. http://tfl.nu/cv8i

Replies (3) Good night (410) Bad night (660)
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(289): View more from Ontario

I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.

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(289): I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward. http://tfl.nu/nn3r

Replies (4) Good night (388) Bad night (654)

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