She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
A+ Viking dick
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
