he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
