What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
