Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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