Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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