i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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