my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
