i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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