what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
