32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
