I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
