bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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