Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Randomize
