I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize