He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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