I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I want a musical about memes.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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