In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
