the day after is always just damage control
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
