I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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