I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
