yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
and you fell through a lawn chair
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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