Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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