Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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