I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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