I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
