Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
