how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We had to coat check the pizza.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
