Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
