Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
