Only a mothe r could love this liver
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
