Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
