It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
