happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
