I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
