She is in my trunk
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
