she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
