i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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