i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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