she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
