You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
