He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
