If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
