I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
