How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
