Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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