i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
