i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
