I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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