i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
