Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
