i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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