this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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