Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
