i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
