Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
