So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Mom said you looked used
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm gonna fight the coyote