ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff