then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
