That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
