Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
We had sex on a dog bed..
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
