Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize