she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize